That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
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His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
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I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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