The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
