i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
