the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
