good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst night to have a conscience
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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