i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
