I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize