he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
