sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
