she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
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You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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