I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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