just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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