He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
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becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
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DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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