S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
