We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
