we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
