I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
