i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
