Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i just google imaged poop.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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