Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
