Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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