: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
