I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
