the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
