can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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