Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
