I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.