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Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
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