I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.