I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day