Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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