So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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