At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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