I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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