I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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