loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
