I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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