Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
