Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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