Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
