I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
