Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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