He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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