I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
