I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
