you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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