Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
