Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize