it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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