you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
