doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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