There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
