I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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