he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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