Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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