i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
