Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
