I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
