but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
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Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
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Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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