She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Bring me that man meat
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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