I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
